Hard Days and Lonely Nights

I had quite the day today. After a near fainting episode during a nosebleed, then a trip to the emergency room, my thoughts are wandering towards loneliness. I realise that this may seem odd, and that my thoughts should be more centered around my health and so on, but I can't help but be stuck in the emotional zone.
After I fell today, I had a time of confusion and did not know who to call. I called my sister, who was at work, only to find out that pretty much all of my people I contact in an emergency were at work. Finally it was my mother who was sent to pick me up and take me to the emergency room. Obviously, this was not my ideal situation. Of all the people I could have chosen to be there with me, my mother was definitely at the bottom of the list..a very short list.
There are very few people that I let into my confidence, and I found myself making a couple phone calls to people I normally would not talk to when feeling as vulnerable as I was. Now that I have done this, the only thing I can think of is those people now leaving.
A consistent fear that I have is of people thinking I am too much to handle, too emotional, too weird, too anything, and deciding that my presence in their life is something they can go without. I don't know where this fear comes from, probably from high school isolation or something, but it is one that I have struggled with. This isn't a nice feeling to have, and right now I am fighting the impulse to make more phone calls with explanations for my vulnerability, gibberish about why I feel and act the way I do, and pleading for their remaining presence in my life. It doesn't help that my core group of people are out celebrating my PLP's birthday while I continue to hydrate and rest.
So I'm lonely. I want someone to see my weakness and hold me to lend me some of their strength. People say I am strong, but it doesn't always feel that way. I need people, I need care, and I need a fair amount of affection.
This post was more of a rambling than a well put together stream of thought, but my mind is moving much faster than my fingers. Hopefully this feeling will be gone by the morning, and I can happily go to work and have a good day. In the meantime, I will try to distract myself from this feeling I can't handle. There is always the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.