Little Starts

Yesterday sucked. I would like to come up with a better adjective for it, but suck is the best word that comes to mind. I was in deep depression mode, forgot to take my meds, had to drive to my dad's to borrow yet more money from him for an unforeseen expense (which wasted more of the gasoline quickly diminishing in my car's gas tank), missed dinner, then ate a lot grocery store sushi which really wasn't good at all. There were a few more things that added to the suck of a day, but I think I will keep a bit of it to myself.

So today I wanted to be productive. I put on my old flowy skirt with the bleach stain, which makes me feel pretty while I clean, and decided to pick up the apartment. I started by sitting in the recliner for a couple hours. Every time I got up things just seemed to overwhelm me so I would sit back down. I felt depressed because the house is a pit, but I didn't have any motivation to do anything. Then my sister had a meltdown about the paper she had to hand in at school today and I almost completely gave up on doing anything.

It was at this moment that I had the most genius plan of the century! I decided to do one small job, then sit down in the chair again. So I went over my sister's paper while she was off taking a test, and thanks to the fact that writing is pretty much the only thing I am better than her at academically I was able to tell her how to make it longer. Then I sat down. My next small project was to change out the bag in the trash can, then I sat down. After this I picked up all the trash and dishes in the living room, then sat down. I could go on, but I'm getting sick of writing "then sat down."

By the end of the day I had picked up in the living room, vacuumed, put away clean dishes, clean dirty pans, and load up the dishwasher. For me, this is quite the productive day at home. And it made me feel a bit better; being in a clean room feels a lot happier than being in a cluttered dirty room. I'm thinking of starting on my room tomorrow. There's a lot to do in there, but I think I can use my genius idea in that area as well. I'm supposed to have a safe place in the house where I can go when things are in negative vibe mode, and my room isn't exactly up to par right now. I also should get out of the house at some point, but we'll see how that goes. I'm a bit more content staying at home when it's clean and welcoming. Who knows, maybe I'll even be able to have company soon.