Today has been an anxiety ridden day for me; luckily there have been no panic attacks. It had a bit to do with world events, and a lot to do with my current situation in life.
First off, I'll let out my feeling about the world news event of Osama bin Ladin being killed. I found out via Facebook about this at about 3am today, so that was a weird middle of the night experience. Of course, with any big event that happens in the world, I get my irrational end of the world fear. Other than that, I don't really feel much. I mean, I'm glad our troops are safe, but I think it's weird to celebrate that someone was killed. What he did was terrible, and he certainly spread his distorted doctrine to a lot of people, but I can't really be happy that he's dead. I do feel a bit of relief though.
On to my situation, I still don't know what direction my life is going right now. I can tell you what I am doing tomorrow, but can't say what I'll be doing next week. I find that it's harder for me to take things one day at a time than I would've ever thought. I keep wanting to get things fixed now so that I can get on with life, not realizing that getting things fixed is my life right now. All this came from a short visit with my therapist, so I'm still wrapping my head around some of the concepts. I'm glad I got through today.
As for tomorrow, I hope it will bring good things. I hope that I can make it to day treatment again, which will probably depend on if this sinus pressure and runny nose is leading to a cold or not. We'll see how my immune system handles things.
I am really disappointed/scared/feeling a bit lost with humanity at the moment. I was just scrolling thru my feed on facebook and I find it ironic that some of the same people who were celebrating the blood shed last night are now quoting Dr. MLK and people think that now this means the troops are coming home. I dont think that. I think its just on to the next thing. On to the next conflict about things that dont really matter on to the next killings on to the next distorted doctrine (I really love that phrase so I feel it needs to be repeated.)
ReplyDeleteOk all that out,
You know what... you control whether tomorrow will bring good things, my friend. Only let it bring good things! You deserve the good things. Let them happen for you and don't question it when it does!
love ya!