The Beginning

This is not only the beginning of this blog, but also the beginning of a new, yet old, way of living for me. I find that I have hit bottom without having to consume mass amounts of drugs or alcohol, and I have no choice but to pick up the pieces. Therefore, as cliche as this may be, I will chronicle what happens as I learn to function as an adult in American society - trying to be as open as possible while retaining some privacy.

To begin, i will give a brief explanation of where I am right now. I am in my late (eep!) twenties and do not have any sort of college degree. After working for three years in behavioral health, I cracked, and my own issues were shoved into my face. During my brief and humbling stint in the psychiatric ward, I was again given the diagnosis of a major or chronic depressive disorder; my new bonus was the official diagnosis of a panic disorder. I must interject here that i find the word "disorder" somewhat ironic, seeing as it was a distinct lack of order that led me to this place in my life. More on that later.
Due to this mental cracking, I have found myself unable to complete the duties required by my job. Also, my attempt at finishing college was cut short by a refusal of financial aid to help me pay after failing multiple classes (thanks panic attacks!).
So I am broken, jobless, and am straining what little strength I have in an attempt to see hope for the future. Also, as an added funtastic coincidence that will no doubt teach me further humility, I am having to apply for services from the state...from behavioral health. As I live day to day, trying to keep myself and my cat fed, I am starting to see some humor in all of this.

Tomorrow will be my first appointment with a state worker. There will, I am sure, be a few humorous things to report from the encounter. Also, since I am having to repeat it to multiple psychiatrists and therapists, I will grace you will a short summary of the crazy past that got me here - appropriately edited of course. If you're lucky, it will be in short story form with the names and places changed.

Oh, and though I am called Sir Steven, I am a woman.